January 1, 2019 - January 1, 2020
January 1, 2019 3:13 pm
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Okay, now that I got that out of my system...
Yes, Happy New Year, indeed.
Every time January rolls around, my usual routine is to consider what my goals and objectives are for the upcoming year. As part of that usual routine, I look at my list of the previous year's goals, and inevitably, I'm mostly recycling that exact same list for the newly minted year. Maybe not entirely exactly, but there's bound to be three goals repeated verbatim and then the rest may be different in the details but exactly the same in the spirit.
This year is no different.
[NOTE: And to further compound and probably confuse matters... I originally started this post a YEAR ago. That's right, this note comes to you from January 1, 2020. Happy New Year! So, as I finally publish this post a dozen months after I started it, I'll probably be amending it with these little notes in blue from the present.]
Meanwhile, in a previous post (from just mid-December), I happened to write this down:
WHAT DO I WANNA DO (WHAT DO I WANNA BE) WHEN I GROW UP:
1. A debater
2. An essayist
3. A history major
4. A filmmaker (director, writer, editor)
5. A cartoonist (comic books, webcomics)
6. An illustrator/painter
7. A merchandiser and marketer (specifically re: WNY filmmaker Sam Qualiana's Metroshia Productions... more on this later)
8. A documentarian, historian about WNY filmmakers
9. Financially successful
10. Oh, and though I never think about it - but I should - be a (competent)* homeowner.
*This adjective is an addition to the original list.
February 22, 9:34 am
Yeah, as an exercise it's good for me to re-check some of this shit that I write down, because I sometimes write it down so impulsively I can't remember if I just puked it down on a list somewhere or in a post that I never finished or what.
So, now it's well into February. My wife has her winter break and we've been to our old house in Lockport trying to clean it up for a March deadline of finally putting that house on the market. Mind you, we moved to our new house back in August 2017. My wife got her stuff all together way back in 2017 like a normal person should and moved her stuff all to our new house but I didn't. I'm the one that's been holding up everything. The circumstances were unique enough that I could. We were moving into my dad's old house (which I inherited when he passed away in 2016) and, being able to access both our old house and the new house without a deadline hanging over my head (more or less), I dragged my feet getting all my stuff together, aside from the essentials that I immediately needed. Then after moving in, I got a new job (after being unemployed since July 2016 when the company went out of business). My new job was (and still is) at a grocery store where I mostly work outside bringing in shopping carts from the parking lot (more or less) and that was another time-consuming (and physical) obstacle to daily negotiate around. I currently work around 25-35 hours/week. Meaning, I haven't been as focused on finishing things up at the old house, to put it euphemistically. At times, my wife can re-frame that narrative less gently, and with good reason, because well, here we are, a year and half later after we've moved and we still don't have the old house up for sale. But, the bills on two houses are slowly but definitely killing us - financially and, occasionally, emotionally - and so, we need to finally fucking put that property up for sale and sell it, if possible.
That's kind of where we are right now.
Of course, my brain is always going elsewhere then where it should be. Prioritizing ain't my strong point.
Which brings us back to my "What Do I Wanna Do (What Do I Wanna Be) When I Grow Up" list or, to save time, I'll just refer to it as the WDIWL (i.e. What Do I Wanna List) from now on.
There's some meme or self-improvement saying somewhere that I came across and it breaks down what it takes to dream about something versus actually achieving that dream. I can't remember the specific breakdown verbatim, but it goes something like this:
To achieve a dream, first come up with a GOAL,
Then set a PLAN to achieve that goal,
Then set a SCHEDULE to accomplish that plan,
Finally, follow that schedule and ACHIEVE YOUR DREAM.
Something like that.
Also, cue Frank N. Furter: "Don't DREAM it, BE it."
12:22 pm
THE PERPETUAL, THOUGH ERRATIC, SELF-DIRECTED PEP TALK
Well, it's almost two months after the actual holiday, but we finally, officially, put away our Christmas tree and decorations in the attic. As momentous an occasion that is (oh, and it is... it is an annual momentous occasion of accomplishment), the task is magnified in stature because I actually said I'd do it last night. I also said I'd vacuum the TV room last night, after a day of cleaning at the Lockport house. This is significant because I never follow through on my plans (ask poor Laszlo who I keep telling I'll beta his fan-fiction and then never get around to it. BTW, you can read his on-going Sci-Fi flavored Frozen fanfic series here).
In addition, while crawling (or walking very stooped) in our attic, I was appreciative (and silently self-commending) my having affixed larger floorboards to the exposed rafters upstairs. When we first moved in - and actually for decades, pretty much since my family originally purchased this house in 1969 (or shortly thereafter) - there was only a couple long pieces of wood laid across the rafters. I think they were from a large shipping box, about three feet by six feet. That was the main walkway upstairs, and the six foot length barely reached the rafters at each end. So, last summer, I think, I made a point of adding more plywood from scraps we had in the garage. It was tedious and I didn't accomplish covering as much surface area as I had hoped but I significantly expanded our practical walking and storing floor space upstairs. So, yet another household project or chore I actually followed through on and I could appreciate today while crawling around upstairs, sweating.
Anyways, go me!
Usually I'm not so self-congratulatory, but fuck it, I can use the positive self-reinforcement. Maybe it will gather emotional momentum and thus, enable me to translate it into more accomplishments creatively.
Alright, now I gotta go crap.
[NOTE: Holy TMI.]
2:41 pm
More productive stuff!
I also, finally, emptied this orange laundry basket that's been sitting in the basement taking up space for several months, at least. Maybe a year? Maybe not. Either way, it's been a ridiculously long time.
In it were T-shirts and pants that I had washed and folded but really didn't have a place to store properly.
Well, after occasionally thinking about it but never really exuding any energy to follow through, I finally got this stack of plastic storage drawers that used to house my DVDs at the old house and which I kept at my current storage unit. I shoved my dresser over down here in the basement (that's right, baby! I "live" in the basement! Well, to clarify: our "new" house is actually smaller than our old house, so we converted the basement and garage into living spaces and my work area/bed is in the basement. Yes, my wife and I sleep separately because 1) I'm traditionally a restless sleeper and 2) we keep different hours at night, so this separation is good for the marriage. Okay? Does that answer satisfy you??)... as I was saying, I shoved my dresser over where it was already and made room for these plastic storage drawers, cleaned out the drawers (four of them) and finally put my clothes in them.
Holy. Shit.
Suddenly I have 2'x4' of floor space opened up to me in my basement work space. I'm such a procrastinating fuckhead.
Anyway, yay. That is finally done.
Next, I have these hanging file folder racks that I have to put together and put into one of my filing cabinets so I can finally empty some of these boxes that have my comics that are taking up space down here.
Baby steps, man! Baby steps!
Meanwhile, I should start getting ready to go to work. Ugh. Dammit.
February 26, 11:36 am
Well, I'm off today, but I have to get into a routine for working on the old house this week. I hope to leave in about an hour for Lockport.
But, I was going to look through my WDIWL and try to figure out some basic goals for the various items on it, some brainstorming.
FILMMAKER:
Well, the biggest way to be a filmmaker is to make films. The earliest opportunity I have is to make an entry for the March BM-VM meeting. Of course, in about three weeks, I should be starting to rehearse for ANNAPURNA at the New Phoenix Theatre. I'm directing Lisa Ludwig and John Profeta in that. So, I really don't have time to create a new film. but I do have some raw footage I shot with John Karyus back in late 2017 when he was actually staying in our old house. It's for a film I was sort of making up with him called THE RESURRECTION OF THE BLUE AGOUTI. I think I can make a trailer with some interesting footage. That'll be my entry.
CARTOONIST:
A few ideas:
1. This year I'd like to create a website for my artwork and also a web comic that I hope to collect in a published comic. The web comic is TABLE SCRAPS featuring characters based on our cats, among other things.
2. I need to really start working on my Apple Corps Comic story. Last year I planned to have it done by January 2019. Well, that not only didn't work, but I hadn't even really started it. So, that's my one story idea.
Alright, I gotta get productive for today. Later!
2:16 pm!?
Ahhhhh...DAMMIT!
CUT TO
Saturday, June 29, 7:58 pm
[NOTE: Four months later! Holy Fast Forward!]
Man, I'm just trying to catch up here.
9:51 pm
And... I'm doing a shitty job of it!
Okay.
So, a number of things are going through my head:
First, except for one post this year, I haven't done any writing towards my goal of hitting 50,000 words. And that one post? Uh, it's not public. It's a personal entry and I wasn't really comfortable about sharing it with anyone to be honest, but I also needed to get started on my journey to 50,000 words for 2019. So, I listed it in my entries on my blog where I'm keeping track of my writing goal, and figured I'd be adding other posts soon after... which hasn't happened, yet, unfortunately. Which is why I'm trying to finish THIS post. Baby steps, right?
[NOTE: As it turns out, I've kept all those so-called personal entries private. So, they're no longer listed as part of my 50,000 word challenge. However, for those obsessive statisticians out there, I privately published six posts in 2019 and racked up about 15,550 words. Therapeutically, I think having a private place to express myself helped me out.]
Second, I re-read what I wrote earlier and some things need to be updated, even if superficially.
We finally sold our old house! It happened May 20. And since then, it's been a new era for us. We were able to pay some debts and start saving some money now that we no longer have our old mortgage to pay, nor pay any of the utilities, etc. on the old house. Yay!
Third, I also survived directing ANNAPURNA! I had hoped to remember something during the rehearsal process about directing from my earlier shows over 14 years ago. That did NOT happen. So, the entire six-week process was extremely stressful. But, it worked out, and very well, actually. We got a 4-OUT-OF-4 STAR review in the Buffalo News! Okay, I try not to put TOO much stock in reviews, but I'll confess... it was a fucking huge relief when it was a positive review, let alone such a favorable review. There's much more to say about the experience, but not in this post. Hopefully in another one...
January 1, 2020 1:10 pm
And now, we're caught up, at least for this post.
I'm going to publish this now and move on officially to 2020.
I'll continue discussing my WDIWL in "Welcome, 2020!" aka Part 2.
Onward!
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
To Be Continued... Friday, October 4, 2019
Friday, October 4 8;24 am
... and howdy.
[NOTE: And Happy New Year! So, this is one of a handful of blog posts I impulsively published on the last day of 2019 in an effort to have a few more blog posts for 2019. Yes, I was "cheating" if you understand why I did this. Whatever, I still have to finish the actual posts themselves. So, that's what I'm doing with this one, but, I'm interrupting here from the "present" (Sunday, January 5, 2020) to add some clarifying commentary so-to-speak. That is, hopefully they're clarifying. I guess we'll see.]
So, I'm sort of in the middle of things, mostly cleaning up the house before our (prospective) cat-sitter, Sam(antha), stops by tonight and is introduced to our four cats: Velvet, Pixie, Minnie and Finn.
I just want to get through this day of CLEANING before 6:00 when Sam arrives.
More updates to come.
But first: feed the cats, the birds, eat breakfast and take some ibuprofen...
And FUCK, it's already 8:36 am!
11:16 am
Man, I'm in slow-motion.
Anyway:
- Folded laundry (towels, etc.)
- Fed birds and cats.
- Put more laundry in washer (underwear).
- Washed throws from TV room, then put them in the dryer.
While having breakfast, I finally finished watching the 3-part Netflix documentary limited-series, INSIDE BILL'S BRAIN: DECODING BILL GATES. I have to say, I didn't know much about Gates prior to this series, and now I think he's kind of heroic. I subscribed to his blog soon after.
I just started another multi-part documentary series, TRUMP: AN AMERICAN DREAM.
12:32 pm
Goddammit.
Time is just... moving.
- Cleared the sink.
Wow. Big fucking deal. Grrrr..!
Sunday, October 6 2:27 pm
So, my original plan was to get through Friday, specifically cleaning the house until Sam got here at 6;00 pm and then we'd go through the process of introducing her to the cats and letting her know what we wanted from her as a cat-sitter. After she left, I think I was planning on trying to finally get started on Inktober 2019.
Well, my cleaning more-or-less happened (maybe less), but enough to get the point across. I did keep getting distracted through the day, though. Towards the end of the day, I was getting more scatter-brained and forgetting shit. I was saying to myself, "my method of multi-tasking is forgetting more stuff at once," and to illustrate, I was supposed to drop off a check to town hall for our taxes, plus deposit another check at the bank and then pick up some dry-cleaning and drop off some more. I got to town hall and realized I forgot the check for the bank (part of the reason is because I took another check as well to cash at the bank and I think that threw me off rather than allow me to be more efficient), so after going to the town clerk and taking care of that, I went back home. Not really a LOT of time lost, just... inefficient. It's 6-7 minutes from home to town hall and another couple minutes to the bank and dry-cleaners, but now I added another 15 minutes going back and forth to the house. Part of my scatterbrainery is of course a sense of panic that I hadn't gotten more stuff accomplished during the day, and I was just exacerbating my lack of production through panic.
Interesting.
On the one hand, I'm annoyed and getting anxious about my lack of progress at home (cleaning, organizing, finishing the remodeling) and on creative endeavors (drawing and filmmaking, etc.) and I wonder if I'm just going to fail at everything.
But, as I take the time to write this, I'm feeling somewhat calmed by this immediate process of documenting things, even if it includes my current sense of failure at accomplishing things. I mean, I am working on a blog post. And I always intended these blogs to be a document of my efforts to become accomplished in different fields of creative interest. So, I need to just embrace the process and let it happen. Blog posts don't just happen instantaneously. Drawings don't happen instantaneously. The same goes for scripts, producing films, etc. I just have to invest the time. Regularly.
*HEAVY SIGH*
Alright, I actually have to work today. I start at 3:30 this afternoon and go 'til 11:00. Although, if I'm done by 10:30, I'm outta there. But who am I kidding? I always close later than scheduled, so I think they just tried to adjust to that fact this week in the scheduling.
Monday, October 7 10:27 am
First off, I'm back to "square one" with other matters (stupidly) and... I'll just leave it at that.
Second, I still haven't finished one damn Inktober drawing yet, and we're a full week in to October. I started drawing one out for the first prompt: "ring". We'll see if I finish that one. I started another one about an hour ago for Day 6's prompt, "husky". Of course, like all my ideas, it's a really complicated concept, and also ridiculous and overdone and overthought out. AH, well. That's my m.o.!
Anyway, I'm really trying to see if I can just work my way through this and just FINISH it. We'll see.
11:31 am
Ugh.
Man, am I outta shape! And I mean from a drawing perspective!
I'm making progress on this drawing, but it's exhausting!
Dammit!
Thursday, October 10 8:51 am
I haven't done any further drawing on my "husky" prompt. Columbus Day Weekend is coming up and we're heading out of town and I've been distracted cleaning and preparing the house for that.
So, I have more of that to do today. Who knows if I'll ever finish that "husky" drawing or do any drawing for that matter.
Ah, I'm just whining.
Okay, I have to get some chores out of the way before I go to work late this afternoon. It's a weird shift, only 5.5 hours (5:00-10:30pm), so I'm leaving late in the afternoon. I'm going to try and stay focused and attempt to get shit accomplished today around the house before I go (besides cleaning, also cut the grass, etc.).
We'll see...
Friday, October 11 8:51 am (again! how weird!)
So, we're leaving today and there's a bunch of stuff I have to do before my wife gets home and then we leave. I'm trying to be a good boy and stay focused.
I'm also planning to bring my notebooks, my sketchbook, my list of Inktober prompts, my camera and my video camera. Maybe I'll do something spontaneously creative. Maybe not.
But mostly, I have to stay focused from now until 3:30 when she comes home and be ready to head out.
Ugh.
Adulting. And being self-motivated. Grrrr....
Trying to be productive at home, mostly doing housecleaning. Too bad I stuffed myself on leftover Wegmans' pizza this morning for breakfast. I had my two slices, but my wife didn't want hers and so I decided to "go for the whole schmeer." So, I essentially ate half a large pizza for breakfast and boy, am I feeling it now. I'm such a stupid-head.
Alright. Boo hoo. I have to put an air conditioner in the attic and then wash some dishes and vacuum.
SIGH, he sighed fatly.
#HouseOfTheBloatedFucks
2:23 pm
Well! THAT took forever.
- Put the A/C from the library up in the attic. Plus, re-baited the mousetraps (live-catch) up there AND put the two fans up there, too, that have been sitting in the TV room for the last month.
4:54 pm
- More or less finished washing the dishes and loaded the dishwasher (yeah, the dishwasher by itself is an ineffective way for us to wash ALL our dishes, pans, tupperware, etc. So, I do both - hand wash and by machine).
- Emptied the clothes dryer.
- Helped my wife clean the shower.
- Put the underwear in the washer.
Also:
- FINALLY posted a Meetup and Facebook event for tomorrow's BM-VM meeting. I suck, in terms of promoting stuff well ahead of time.
UGH.
My wife and I are completely NOT in the mood to do anything constructive today, so we're dragging ourselves around trying to be productive. Yay.
Alright, one more hurdle: do some vacuuming and then head off to another meeting of Beaver Alley Studios (BAS) in Lockport...
December 3, 6:21 am
Wow.
Right now, I'm REALLY glad I have no actual readership for these blog posts because, holy crap, they are ALL OVER THE PLACE! And repetitive!
Sunday, January 5, 2020, 1:43 pm
Well, let me try to wrap this post up as I balance a phone between my neck and shoulder. I'm on hold with Consumer Cellular. My phone's had "no service" practically all week and I have no idea why. Between my work schedule, doing other things, or otherwise forgetting to do so, I'm finally getting around to calling customer service.
I finally finished watching Rhonda and Mark Parker's A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY for the second time, although this time at home on DVD. I originally watched it at the Premiere screening at the Screening Room on December 21. I hope to write a review for it later today.
Getting back to the topics I discussed above:
1. INKTOBER: Sad to say, I never finished a single drawing... and I'm just talking about pencilling! I never even got to the inking stage! Argghh! But, the ideas were interesting, so I hope to simply finish those ideas I started and ink them as well, at some point. Stay tuned...
2. BM-VM SHORTY CONTEST (Take 2): Well, as I explained above, I had a second chance to enter a film in the contest and... well, I sort of did it. Actually, no. I really didn't, well, not the way I intended to. I still wound up procrastinating but I didn't completely wait until the last second. But I really cut it damn close. I was expecting Hernan to show his entry, INTERNET DATING SUCKS!, again. He was also a new BM-VM member, having joined at the previous (October) meeting and I was worried that he was going to be the only one who showed up with an entry again in November. In October, long-time BM-VM member (and our club archivist), John Weiksnar, was out of town for work reasons and didn't have time to put together an entry. I was hoping he could put something together this second time around, but I wasn't sure. Another long-time member, Cindy Liber, occasionally made some films, but she had been distracted by work and transportation issues over the previous months, so I wasn't sure about her, either. And our club president, David Gaffney, has been busy with work (which sometimes made it challenging for him to simply attend our monthly meetings), plus, he had also recently married in the summer, so I wasn't sure what his spare time situation was like for putting together an entry. Anyway, I was worried that we wouldn't have enough entries to have the contest again, but we couldn't postpone again, so in the event we didn't have enough entries again, we just wouldn't have a Shorty Contest this season. So, I mostly was trying to throw together two entries so that we could have a contest. And since I was the Club (interim) Contest Chairman, that seemed like an appropriate task for me.
Well, somehow, quite barely, I was able to pull it off but it was a real technical clusterfuck. My main problem was trying to figure out why my footage was not permanently downloading to Final Cut Pro or even iMovie on my computer. My video camera is a Sony HDR-CX675 Handycam and you use this program called PlayMemories Home in order to download your files. I somehow pulled it off, thank god, in August bit I was having problems this time around. At best I could edit my footage, but for some reason, it wasn't actually downloading the files to the computer, it was only available when i had the Sony connected to the computer. So, once I disconnected my camera, those files would no longer be available on the computer, WTF.
So, long story short, I wound up making an entry from a very short video I shot a few years ago of my dad. I intended it to be part of a documentary about him. It's pretty much a single take of him where I ask him some questions. I added some credits and also some explanatory subtitles and that was one entry. I called it THE DEE-DEE DEE-DEE SONG. I then quickly posted it on Youtube and hoped I could play it at the Screening Room off Bob Golibersuch's computer (Bob G. is the owner of the Screening Room, natch!). We've accessed Youtube videos for screening at meetings before. Then, I very quickly did yet another edit of the footage I shot in Delaware and at White Clay Creek Park and I called it WATCH CHILDREN. In this case, I think because of time issues, I couldn't download it to youtube, or it wouldn't, so I wound up doing this ungodly other option: I videotaped the film off my computer screen with my Canon PowerShot A2000 IS digital camera, which is primarily a still camera, but it does have a serviceable video function, standard quality at best. I then ran off to the meeting. In my mind, I'm thinking, well, I can show everybody the video from the Canon, but I'd be walking around to groups because, well, it's a small screen. Well, as it turned out, I think we were able to connect the Canon to someone's laptop and then we were able to show it on the big screen. but, OMG, it was an ugly looking image. The video itself was of standard quality, but it was form an image off my computer monitor in the first place, so there were some second generation visual quality issues. Like, you could barely read any of the titles I had on the screen. It was miserable looking. But... we had our three entires! Hernan did return and David called in sick, and John and Cindy didn't have an entry. So, as Contest Chair, I did my job. that's about the brightest spot of the evening.
Meanwhile, the big lesson from this whole Shorty Contest experience is: I need to figure out how to "permanently" download my files to my computer! And I still haven't! But the holidays are over, so maybe I can get my shit together regarding this matter.
NOTE: BTW, I never figured any of my two entries would get any votes, but out of the eight votes from eligible voters attending the November meeting, I actually got two votes for THE DEE-DEE DEE-DEE SONG! Crazy! Ah, sentimental voters... But Hernan did win first place.
Friday, March 20, 2020 5:39 pm
Hi!
So, I return.
This is in red because... I like colors! No, this is in red to indicate that this portion of the post was written in 2020 because, well, see NOTE in blue at beginning of this post for explanation.
Anyway, I thought there were a couple of these posts that I snuck in at the end of 2019 that I need to finish and this is one of them. So, I'm just going to address the rest of that list and wrap this up.
3. #horrormoviefaves: Okay, as I mentioned above, Buffalo writer Toni Ruberto was doing this thing during October 2019, with a different prompt each day. I wanted to participate, but I just never got my shit together to pull it off. But, I'd still like to do it. So, I will. Just stay tuned to a later post with the 31 prompts and my answers! Oooh!
4. 50,000 WORDS OF BLOGGING FOR 2019: Well, again, I'm going to try this. This will be my third attempt, I think. I did around 29,000 words in 2018, and only 13, 529 for 2019. Plus, I also cheated in 2019, because I snuck in some posts that were unfinished, like this one, so that the very least I had some multiple posts in 2019. So, it was a technical legality that I got those posts published in 2019. So, yeah, 2019 was a real bust. Thus, I'm trying to do it again. Attempting to do 50, 000 words of total blogging, and at least 6 posts per blog (this blog, my comics blog and my film blog), so 18 posts total. That averages out to about 2,778 words each post, if I only do 18 posts. Bla bla bla... whatever, forget about numbers. My point is, I'm trying to post more in my freaking blogs and this is one way to sort of track my progress. As of today, I have two posts published this year totaling 3,002 words. Eh. It's a start.
So, on to the wrap up.
A lot of my recent posts have this annoying habit of me listing chores or goals I'm trying to accomplish just to get through the day. I set my goals or To-Do List, then later I say what I've done (and it's usually not a complete success). As dull as that is as blog content (oh, and it IS dull), it shows how my ability to accomplish shit (like, anything) is really at a low pathetic state. But, I'm plugging away.
I'll try to limit how many To-Do List posts, though, from now on, because... well, that's just super lame to have to read.
Finally, as I write conclude this post FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS after I started it, the world has also changed. We're currently in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic and everybody's getting used to "socially distancing" ourselves in order to limit contact and possible transmission of the virus. Ive already started writing a post focusing on living in this social climate and will start publishing those soon, hopefully.
Again, to be continued. And thanks for stopping by!
... and howdy.
[NOTE: And Happy New Year! So, this is one of a handful of blog posts I impulsively published on the last day of 2019 in an effort to have a few more blog posts for 2019. Yes, I was "cheating" if you understand why I did this. Whatever, I still have to finish the actual posts themselves. So, that's what I'm doing with this one, but, I'm interrupting here from the "present" (Sunday, January 5, 2020) to add some clarifying commentary so-to-speak. That is, hopefully they're clarifying. I guess we'll see.]
So, I'm sort of in the middle of things, mostly cleaning up the house before our (prospective) cat-sitter, Sam(antha), stops by tonight and is introduced to our four cats: Velvet, Pixie, Minnie and Finn.
I just want to get through this day of CLEANING before 6:00 when Sam arrives.
More updates to come.
But first: feed the cats, the birds, eat breakfast and take some ibuprofen...
And FUCK, it's already 8:36 am!
11:16 am
Man, I'm in slow-motion.
Anyway:
- Folded laundry (towels, etc.)
- Fed birds and cats.
- Put more laundry in washer (underwear).
- Washed throws from TV room, then put them in the dryer.
While having breakfast, I finally finished watching the 3-part Netflix documentary limited-series, INSIDE BILL'S BRAIN: DECODING BILL GATES. I have to say, I didn't know much about Gates prior to this series, and now I think he's kind of heroic. I subscribed to his blog soon after.
I just started another multi-part documentary series, TRUMP: AN AMERICAN DREAM.
12:32 pm
Goddammit.
Time is just... moving.
- Cleared the sink.
Wow. Big fucking deal. Grrrr..!
Sunday, October 6 2:27 pm
So, my original plan was to get through Friday, specifically cleaning the house until Sam got here at 6;00 pm and then we'd go through the process of introducing her to the cats and letting her know what we wanted from her as a cat-sitter. After she left, I think I was planning on trying to finally get started on Inktober 2019.
Well, my cleaning more-or-less happened (maybe less), but enough to get the point across. I did keep getting distracted through the day, though. Towards the end of the day, I was getting more scatter-brained and forgetting shit. I was saying to myself, "my method of multi-tasking is forgetting more stuff at once," and to illustrate, I was supposed to drop off a check to town hall for our taxes, plus deposit another check at the bank and then pick up some dry-cleaning and drop off some more. I got to town hall and realized I forgot the check for the bank (part of the reason is because I took another check as well to cash at the bank and I think that threw me off rather than allow me to be more efficient), so after going to the town clerk and taking care of that, I went back home. Not really a LOT of time lost, just... inefficient. It's 6-7 minutes from home to town hall and another couple minutes to the bank and dry-cleaners, but now I added another 15 minutes going back and forth to the house. Part of my scatterbrainery is of course a sense of panic that I hadn't gotten more stuff accomplished during the day, and I was just exacerbating my lack of production through panic.
Interesting.
On the one hand, I'm annoyed and getting anxious about my lack of progress at home (cleaning, organizing, finishing the remodeling) and on creative endeavors (drawing and filmmaking, etc.) and I wonder if I'm just going to fail at everything.
But, as I take the time to write this, I'm feeling somewhat calmed by this immediate process of documenting things, even if it includes my current sense of failure at accomplishing things. I mean, I am working on a blog post. And I always intended these blogs to be a document of my efforts to become accomplished in different fields of creative interest. So, I need to just embrace the process and let it happen. Blog posts don't just happen instantaneously. Drawings don't happen instantaneously. The same goes for scripts, producing films, etc. I just have to invest the time. Regularly.
*HEAVY SIGH*
Alright, I actually have to work today. I start at 3:30 this afternoon and go 'til 11:00. Although, if I'm done by 10:30, I'm outta there. But who am I kidding? I always close later than scheduled, so I think they just tried to adjust to that fact this week in the scheduling.
Monday, October 7 10:27 am
First off, I'm back to "square one" with other matters (stupidly) and... I'll just leave it at that.
Second, I still haven't finished one damn Inktober drawing yet, and we're a full week in to October. I started drawing one out for the first prompt: "ring". We'll see if I finish that one. I started another one about an hour ago for Day 6's prompt, "husky". Of course, like all my ideas, it's a really complicated concept, and also ridiculous and overdone and overthought out. AH, well. That's my m.o.!
Anyway, I'm really trying to see if I can just work my way through this and just FINISH it. We'll see.
11:31 am
Ugh.
Man, am I outta shape! And I mean from a drawing perspective!
I'm making progress on this drawing, but it's exhausting!
Dammit!
Thursday, October 10 8:51 am
I haven't done any further drawing on my "husky" prompt. Columbus Day Weekend is coming up and we're heading out of town and I've been distracted cleaning and preparing the house for that.
So, I have more of that to do today. Who knows if I'll ever finish that "husky" drawing or do any drawing for that matter.
Ah, I'm just whining.
Okay, I have to get some chores out of the way before I go to work late this afternoon. It's a weird shift, only 5.5 hours (5:00-10:30pm), so I'm leaving late in the afternoon. I'm going to try and stay focused and attempt to get shit accomplished today around the house before I go (besides cleaning, also cut the grass, etc.).
We'll see...
Friday, October 11 8:51 am (again! how weird!)
So, we're leaving today and there's a bunch of stuff I have to do before my wife gets home and then we leave. I'm trying to be a good boy and stay focused.
I'm also planning to bring my notebooks, my sketchbook, my list of Inktober prompts, my camera and my video camera. Maybe I'll do something spontaneously creative. Maybe not.
But mostly, I have to stay focused from now until 3:30 when she comes home and be ready to head out.
Ugh.
Adulting. And being self-motivated. Grrrr....
Thursday, October 24 7:36 am
Okay, here's a run-down of the various things I have going on, or at least, things I'd LIKE to have going on.
Like:
1. INKTOBER: ....which I've started two drawings for, have a number of ideas for, but have yet to finish penciling any one drawing, let alone do any inking yet. And it's October 24th. Yeah.
2. BM-VM SHORTY CONTEST: Monday night (October 21) was a BM-VM meeting and the annual Shorty Contest. And, no, I didn't enter anything. Part of it was due to the fact that I had left making a film entry until the last weekend before the meeting, specifically Saturday (Oct. 19). I had the day off but then there was a speech and debate meeting in the morning at Mount Mercy Academy (MMA) and my wife (A.) and I were judging. This is the first (second?) year that the tournament is not fielding a team from my wife's school since her debate coach formerly retired and since my wife has been the forensics coach for her school since she started in... 2000? 1999? (I think 2000), she chose to retire as well and no other faculty member or alumni has stepped up (or been able to step up) to taking over the team. So, occasionally we're called in to do some judging duties as "independent contractors," hahaha! Anyway, it was fun seeing the kids perform and it made my mind wander re: performing and writing, etc.
So, there was that in the morning, and then I briefly stopped by the Marriott and the Buffalo ComiCon put on by Queen City Book Store. And then we had shopping to do, but my wife was tired, so we came home first, and I was tired as well, so we napped and had something to eat, then went to Sam's Club, Walmart and Wegmans and while on the road, my wife had been trying to reach her mom by phone and kept getting a busy signal. After four hours of that, we called J., her brother, to see if her mom had talked to him earlier and maybe she just forgot to hang up, but it turns out both A. and J. had been trying to reach Mom, so we decided to go out to Lockport and see what was going on. It turns out her mom was having a bad day, and she hadn't really eaten and she was cold and wondered why no one called her. So, stuff was going on. There's a lot more to this story, but I won't get into that. But, A.'s mom has been having a bunch of issues going on and some of them are because she is reluctant to accept she's getting older and that physically she's deteriorating, whether she likes it or not. ANYWAY, A. and I were there for a few hours getting her mom back on track and we didn't get home until late. And then I had to work in the morning (Sunday, 8:00 am)... so, long story short (HAHAHA!), I didn't work on my film entry Saturday night. And then working on it Sunday was lame because I was tired and basically, I had to remember how to download the new footage, etc. I shot with the camera I bought in August. True, I had shot a number of things since August when I worked on the Buffalo 48 Hour Film Project and Team BM-VM's entry, THE CASE OF THE MISPLACED HERRING. Like, A. and I have been to Griffis Sculpture Park and I shot footage there, and also some incidental footage of birds and deer and turkeys in our backyard at various times. Plus, we had been to Delaware for Columbus Day Weekend and I shot footage at White Clay Creek Park with A. and her best friend, C. who lives down there, and also some footage from the car as we were returning home on the road. So, I had some options for film entries in terms of raw footage. I just had to load the footage onto my computer. Which is a long fucking process, and I hadn't done since August when I worked on the 48 Hour Film Project and it doesn't help that I'm forgetful and have to remind myself by trial and error how to do anything technical or computer-related.
So, there was that in the morning, and then I briefly stopped by the Marriott and the Buffalo ComiCon put on by Queen City Book Store. And then we had shopping to do, but my wife was tired, so we came home first, and I was tired as well, so we napped and had something to eat, then went to Sam's Club, Walmart and Wegmans and while on the road, my wife had been trying to reach her mom by phone and kept getting a busy signal. After four hours of that, we called J., her brother, to see if her mom had talked to him earlier and maybe she just forgot to hang up, but it turns out both A. and J. had been trying to reach Mom, so we decided to go out to Lockport and see what was going on. It turns out her mom was having a bad day, and she hadn't really eaten and she was cold and wondered why no one called her. So, stuff was going on. There's a lot more to this story, but I won't get into that. But, A.'s mom has been having a bunch of issues going on and some of them are because she is reluctant to accept she's getting older and that physically she's deteriorating, whether she likes it or not. ANYWAY, A. and I were there for a few hours getting her mom back on track and we didn't get home until late. And then I had to work in the morning (Sunday, 8:00 am)... so, long story short (HAHAHA!), I didn't work on my film entry Saturday night. And then working on it Sunday was lame because I was tired and basically, I had to remember how to download the new footage, etc. I shot with the camera I bought in August. True, I had shot a number of things since August when I worked on the Buffalo 48 Hour Film Project and Team BM-VM's entry, THE CASE OF THE MISPLACED HERRING. Like, A. and I have been to Griffis Sculpture Park and I shot footage there, and also some incidental footage of birds and deer and turkeys in our backyard at various times. Plus, we had been to Delaware for Columbus Day Weekend and I shot footage at White Clay Creek Park with A. and her best friend, C. who lives down there, and also some footage from the car as we were returning home on the road. So, I had some options for film entries in terms of raw footage. I just had to load the footage onto my computer. Which is a long fucking process, and I hadn't done since August when I worked on the 48 Hour Film Project and it doesn't help that I'm forgetful and have to remind myself by trial and error how to do anything technical or computer-related.
So, by the time I figured out how to do it, and more or less did it, I had no time left by the time I went to work Monday morning to complete the editing process, so I had no entry to show Monday night.
HOWEVER, having said all this, I did luck out. No one else brought in a contest entry, except for Hernan Caraballo. And, officially, we need at least three entries to actually hold the contest. So, I have another month to make an entry!
Obviously, I need to work on an entry NOW.
And wow, that was an excuse-filled explanation as to why I didn't make a film for the Shorty Contest...
And wow, that was an excuse-filled explanation as to why I didn't make a film for the Shorty Contest...
3. #horrromoviefaves: This local writer/journalist Toni Ruberto's hash tag thing going on Twitter about horror films throughout October. I want to participate in this, partly because I wanna play, too! but also because I think it's a nice way to network with a journalist.
4. 50,000 WORDS OF BLOGGING FOR 2019: So far, I haven't done ANYTHING except what I've written here in private. Dude, TIME WAITS FOR NO MAN.
Sunday, November 17 1:33 pm
Sunday, November 17 1:33 pm
Trying to be productive at home, mostly doing housecleaning. Too bad I stuffed myself on leftover Wegmans' pizza this morning for breakfast. I had my two slices, but my wife didn't want hers and so I decided to "go for the whole schmeer." So, I essentially ate half a large pizza for breakfast and boy, am I feeling it now. I'm such a stupid-head.
Alright. Boo hoo. I have to put an air conditioner in the attic and then wash some dishes and vacuum.
SIGH, he sighed fatly.
#HouseOfTheBloatedFucks
2:23 pm
Well! THAT took forever.
- Put the A/C from the library up in the attic. Plus, re-baited the mousetraps (live-catch) up there AND put the two fans up there, too, that have been sitting in the TV room for the last month.
4:54 pm
- More or less finished washing the dishes and loaded the dishwasher (yeah, the dishwasher by itself is an ineffective way for us to wash ALL our dishes, pans, tupperware, etc. So, I do both - hand wash and by machine).
- Emptied the clothes dryer.
- Helped my wife clean the shower.
- Put the underwear in the washer.
Also:
- FINALLY posted a Meetup and Facebook event for tomorrow's BM-VM meeting. I suck, in terms of promoting stuff well ahead of time.
UGH.
My wife and I are completely NOT in the mood to do anything constructive today, so we're dragging ourselves around trying to be productive. Yay.
Alright, one more hurdle: do some vacuuming and then head off to another meeting of Beaver Alley Studios (BAS) in Lockport...
December 3, 6:21 am
Wow.
Right now, I'm REALLY glad I have no actual readership for these blog posts because, holy crap, they are ALL OVER THE PLACE! And repetitive!
Sunday, January 5, 2020, 1:43 pm
Well, let me try to wrap this post up as I balance a phone between my neck and shoulder. I'm on hold with Consumer Cellular. My phone's had "no service" practically all week and I have no idea why. Between my work schedule, doing other things, or otherwise forgetting to do so, I'm finally getting around to calling customer service.
I finally finished watching Rhonda and Mark Parker's A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY for the second time, although this time at home on DVD. I originally watched it at the Premiere screening at the Screening Room on December 21. I hope to write a review for it later today.
Getting back to the topics I discussed above:
1. INKTOBER: Sad to say, I never finished a single drawing... and I'm just talking about pencilling! I never even got to the inking stage! Argghh! But, the ideas were interesting, so I hope to simply finish those ideas I started and ink them as well, at some point. Stay tuned...
2. BM-VM SHORTY CONTEST (Take 2): Well, as I explained above, I had a second chance to enter a film in the contest and... well, I sort of did it. Actually, no. I really didn't, well, not the way I intended to. I still wound up procrastinating but I didn't completely wait until the last second. But I really cut it damn close. I was expecting Hernan to show his entry, INTERNET DATING SUCKS!, again. He was also a new BM-VM member, having joined at the previous (October) meeting and I was worried that he was going to be the only one who showed up with an entry again in November. In October, long-time BM-VM member (and our club archivist), John Weiksnar, was out of town for work reasons and didn't have time to put together an entry. I was hoping he could put something together this second time around, but I wasn't sure. Another long-time member, Cindy Liber, occasionally made some films, but she had been distracted by work and transportation issues over the previous months, so I wasn't sure about her, either. And our club president, David Gaffney, has been busy with work (which sometimes made it challenging for him to simply attend our monthly meetings), plus, he had also recently married in the summer, so I wasn't sure what his spare time situation was like for putting together an entry. Anyway, I was worried that we wouldn't have enough entries to have the contest again, but we couldn't postpone again, so in the event we didn't have enough entries again, we just wouldn't have a Shorty Contest this season. So, I mostly was trying to throw together two entries so that we could have a contest. And since I was the Club (interim) Contest Chairman, that seemed like an appropriate task for me.
Well, somehow, quite barely, I was able to pull it off but it was a real technical clusterfuck. My main problem was trying to figure out why my footage was not permanently downloading to Final Cut Pro or even iMovie on my computer. My video camera is a Sony HDR-CX675 Handycam and you use this program called PlayMemories Home in order to download your files. I somehow pulled it off, thank god, in August bit I was having problems this time around. At best I could edit my footage, but for some reason, it wasn't actually downloading the files to the computer, it was only available when i had the Sony connected to the computer. So, once I disconnected my camera, those files would no longer be available on the computer, WTF.
So, long story short, I wound up making an entry from a very short video I shot a few years ago of my dad. I intended it to be part of a documentary about him. It's pretty much a single take of him where I ask him some questions. I added some credits and also some explanatory subtitles and that was one entry. I called it THE DEE-DEE DEE-DEE SONG. I then quickly posted it on Youtube and hoped I could play it at the Screening Room off Bob Golibersuch's computer (Bob G. is the owner of the Screening Room, natch!). We've accessed Youtube videos for screening at meetings before. Then, I very quickly did yet another edit of the footage I shot in Delaware and at White Clay Creek Park and I called it WATCH CHILDREN. In this case, I think because of time issues, I couldn't download it to youtube, or it wouldn't, so I wound up doing this ungodly other option: I videotaped the film off my computer screen with my Canon PowerShot A2000 IS digital camera, which is primarily a still camera, but it does have a serviceable video function, standard quality at best. I then ran off to the meeting. In my mind, I'm thinking, well, I can show everybody the video from the Canon, but I'd be walking around to groups because, well, it's a small screen. Well, as it turned out, I think we were able to connect the Canon to someone's laptop and then we were able to show it on the big screen. but, OMG, it was an ugly looking image. The video itself was of standard quality, but it was form an image off my computer monitor in the first place, so there were some second generation visual quality issues. Like, you could barely read any of the titles I had on the screen. It was miserable looking. But... we had our three entires! Hernan did return and David called in sick, and John and Cindy didn't have an entry. So, as Contest Chair, I did my job. that's about the brightest spot of the evening.
Meanwhile, the big lesson from this whole Shorty Contest experience is: I need to figure out how to "permanently" download my files to my computer! And I still haven't! But the holidays are over, so maybe I can get my shit together regarding this matter.
NOTE: BTW, I never figured any of my two entries would get any votes, but out of the eight votes from eligible voters attending the November meeting, I actually got two votes for THE DEE-DEE DEE-DEE SONG! Crazy! Ah, sentimental voters... But Hernan did win first place.
Friday, March 20, 2020 5:39 pm
Hi!
So, I return.
This is in red because... I like colors! No, this is in red to indicate that this portion of the post was written in 2020 because, well, see NOTE in blue at beginning of this post for explanation.
Anyway, I thought there were a couple of these posts that I snuck in at the end of 2019 that I need to finish and this is one of them. So, I'm just going to address the rest of that list and wrap this up.
3. #horrormoviefaves: Okay, as I mentioned above, Buffalo writer Toni Ruberto was doing this thing during October 2019, with a different prompt each day. I wanted to participate, but I just never got my shit together to pull it off. But, I'd still like to do it. So, I will. Just stay tuned to a later post with the 31 prompts and my answers! Oooh!
4. 50,000 WORDS OF BLOGGING FOR 2019: Well, again, I'm going to try this. This will be my third attempt, I think. I did around 29,000 words in 2018, and only 13, 529 for 2019. Plus, I also cheated in 2019, because I snuck in some posts that were unfinished, like this one, so that the very least I had some multiple posts in 2019. So, it was a technical legality that I got those posts published in 2019. So, yeah, 2019 was a real bust. Thus, I'm trying to do it again. Attempting to do 50, 000 words of total blogging, and at least 6 posts per blog (this blog, my comics blog and my film blog), so 18 posts total. That averages out to about 2,778 words each post, if I only do 18 posts. Bla bla bla... whatever, forget about numbers. My point is, I'm trying to post more in my freaking blogs and this is one way to sort of track my progress. As of today, I have two posts published this year totaling 3,002 words. Eh. It's a start.
So, on to the wrap up.
A lot of my recent posts have this annoying habit of me listing chores or goals I'm trying to accomplish just to get through the day. I set my goals or To-Do List, then later I say what I've done (and it's usually not a complete success). As dull as that is as blog content (oh, and it IS dull), it shows how my ability to accomplish shit (like, anything) is really at a low pathetic state. But, I'm plugging away.
I'll try to limit how many To-Do List posts, though, from now on, because... well, that's just super lame to have to read.
Finally, as I write conclude this post FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS after I started it, the world has also changed. We're currently in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic and everybody's getting used to "socially distancing" ourselves in order to limit contact and possible transmission of the virus. Ive already started writing a post focusing on living in this social climate and will start publishing those soon, hopefully.
Again, to be continued. And thanks for stopping by!
11 DAYS UNTIL 2020: A last dash to cross off some 2019 goals!
December 21, 2019 - January 1, 2020
Saturday, December 21, 2:52 pm
I'm just going to start this post.
I have 11 days until January 1, 2020.
There's no way in hell I'm going to make 50,000 words of my blog posting goal.
Right now, I'm at 8,847 words (that's 5 posts). That means 41,153 more words to go.
Or, mathematically-speaking: 3,742 words/day to accomplish 50,000. No way in hell. It would be amazing if I could do 1,000 words/day.
However, another related blogging goal is to write 6 blog posts for each of my three main blogs. As of right now, I have ONE post for my writing blog; FIVE for my art/comics blog; and ZERO for my film blog. Speaking practically, this second goal is far more attainable.
The third goal is to simply beat my output from last year. I didn't do 50,000 words in 2018, but I did a respectable 29,185 words. So, if I could do 30,000 words, that would be quite alright. That would be 21,153 words to go, and 1,923 words a day. Still a sizable challenge, but much more reasonable. that's not not too far off from 1,667 words/day, which is what you'd have to average to pull off a standard 50,000 words in a 30 days.
Okay, enough theory. I have to crap, then do some cleaning.
UGH.
Focus, focus, focus..!
3:18 pm
My wife's working on the Christmas cards. I'm trying to do some cleaning prior to our finally hanging up some Christmas decorations, etc.
Tonight, Beaver Alley Studios is premiering their fourth film, A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY at the Screening Room at 9:45 pm. I actually did the poster/DVD art. Well, more or less. I explain it all here.
Anyway, I'm cleaning the litter boxes downstairs here. And I have this annoying headache. Maybe because I'm trying to cut back on drinking Diet Pepsi? Dammit.
I'd also like to clean off my bed and sleep there tonight instead of on the couch. I don't actually mind sleeping on the couch, but I SHOULD sleep in my own bed. Dammit.
3:54 pm
Man, I'm fucking pathetic. Every time I finish a drawing, it's a Christmas miracle. Every time I clean the litter boxes, it's a Christmas miracle.
Well, on the bright side (and by this broad definition of "a Christmas miracle")... it's been a pretty miraculous week, then.
Sunday, December 22, 2:03 am
It's late, I'm tired, I've spent the last 45-60 minutes or so just surfing the net but not really doing anything.
Around 12:45 am I came home from the A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY premiere. I'm glad I was able to motivate my butt to get out of the house and go over to the Screening Room.
Now I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. Go to bed? Stay up a little while longer? But, if I do stay up, what for? Not to just make love to the internet. I should either write some more here or do something else, maybe watch a movie or something? Hmmm...
Well, at the very least, I'm eating some leftover pizza from the BM-VM Holiday party, by God!
10:10 am
Wow, I really went to bed late last night.
I got around to watching another episode of MINDHUNTER again. I was watching that pretty steadily and then, well, I just got distracted with other stuff.
Anyway, I'm up, I just fed the cats, and now, breakfast for me...
11:32 am
Well, I have to be at work at 3:30 this afternoon.
After finishing the poster for A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY, now I want to get back to the idea I was obsessing about when I should have been working on the poster instead: that goofy, conceptually amorphous sci-fi comic with the female heroine, Stellara Ultranova. Of course, now that I'm done with the poster and have time to work on the sci-fi comic, I'm sure I'll have no interest in actually working on the sci-fi comic, because that's how irritatingly predictable my "motivation" operates.
Actually, from now until Christmas, I need to focus on Christmas. Like, getting whatever last minute gifts I have to get, cleaning up the house, and decorating. So, today, I have to clean.
But once Dec. 26 comes around, I'm going to try and throw together a short comic idea I have for the sci-fi comic. I'm thinking that the comic itself may be a sort of anthology of short stories set in the future that all happen to star Stellara (Ha! That sounds funny!) as the main protagonist, along with her supporting cast/friends. That's the idea I'm going with now. Also, I DO have to finish coloring the CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY poster, too. I can't put that off indefinitely.
Although, and probably even more urgently then my desire to try out this sci-fi idea, the next thing I should be working on is my Apple Corps Comics (ACC) idea. At the beginning of the year, I was hoping to work on my ACC idea throughout 2019, and I figured if I did a page a week, it was going to take me until January 2020 to finish. Of course, I've done no real work on the story except for:
1. Coming up with a very basic concept - a grotesque parody of the Italian giallo;
2. Using the story as an unofficial introduction to my TABLE SCRAPS comic idea (a pseudo-funny animal comic).
So, obviously, my ACC story will move to 2020, now. What else is new? I'll try to write an actual outline for the story in January. Pam (my fellow - and only other - Apple Corps member) and I will have another Apple Corps meeting sometime that month and I'll use that meeting as an incentive to plan out my progress on the comic for the rest of the year.
Alright, time to clean the house, dammit.
1:17 pm
I'm still cleaning the house, dammit!, but I'm stealing a few minutes in my basement lair to write this.
So far, I've:
- Vacuumed the living room, the kitchen and the stairs to the upper hall.
- Shook out the living room rugs.
- Shook out the rugs, mats in both bathrooms and also the kitchen, then stuck them in the washer.
- Folded the laundry that's been in the dryer.
Alright, gotta get back at it...
1:32 pm
Oops, hang on:
- Put the washed mats and rugs from the washer into the dryer.
- Put a load of underwear in the washer.
Strap yourself in for... EXCITEMENT!
Tuesday, December 24 (Christmas Eve, duh!), 8:30 pm
8 DAYS UNTIL 2020!
Okay, so I worked from 12:30 until close today (6:15 pm). And man, I'm shot.
I've been home for about an hour and I still haven't changed into my house clothes.
And I still have to wrap Amy's presents.
I guess I'll just work through the night, at least for a little while until I seem to be actually doing something...
First, I'm gonna change out of my work clothes, by God.
And then eat something.
10:44 pm
OMG, I'm tired.
So:
- I wrapped a couple presents for my sister-in-law.
- I folded the laundry.
Wednesday, December 25, CHRISTMAS DAY (aren't you even paying attention..?), 9:00 am
Holy crap. I'm even more tired.
Well, probably because I stayed up all night - well, I didn't stay awake ALL through the night but it felt like it... I actually fell asleep for an hour or two after wrapping some gifts while watching THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW before waking up around 4:00 or so and then I continued wrapping Amy's gifts and putting some more ornaments on our tree. Oh, yeah, did I neglect to mention..? We put our little artificial tree up yesterday before I went to work. So, we're going to finish decorating it this morning, but I put a bunch of ornaments on it around 6-6:30 am after I finally finished wrapping. I started decorating last night before I started wrapping presents, etc.
Friday, December 27, 2:45 am
5 DAY UNTIL 2020!
Ugh, I should go to bed.
I worked today and man, by the end of the day, I was really watching the clock. I was more than ready to go home. Probably still tired from Christmas when I pretty much stayed up all night wrapping presents and decorating the tree. Plus, I think my body is thinking of getting sick again. This morning before work, I "expelled" this disgusting, thick snot that I usually associate with when I have a cold. I was glad only that I got it out of my system. But, I don't know if I'm going to stave it off or not from being a full-blown cold. We'll see tomorrow.
Luckily, I have tomorrow off, so I'm going to try and sleep in.
Speaking of which, I should really go to bed.
Meanwhile, I STILL have 21,153 words to go if I want to make 30,000 words by New Year's Day, which averages out to 4,231 words/day.
NO WAY IN HELL THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.
Well, we'll see...
Alright, I got snot running down my face.
Time to go beddy-bye.
10:05 am
Ugh.
Well, I'm awake. I woke up around 9:25.
I have a slight headache.
I'm also feeling a little cold. I can't tell if it's because I had the heat off while I slept or I'm slightly chilled from within, a symptom of my being sick (to whatever degree I'm sick).
12:05 pm
I fed the cats and had breakfast. Amy made breakfast burritos. She cooked up some scrambled "eggs" in one skillet and some "meat" crumbles in another pan. We had two large tortillas left and we each made a burrito. While she ate and read in the library, I ate in the TV room and put on The Criterion Collection's MULTIPLE MANIACS, written, directed, filmed and edited by John Waters. I specifically chose this film because I need to write a review for A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY, and elements of the film made me think of Waters' earlier films, so I decided to go all out and check out one of his films to put me in a reviewing mood. This was the only early Waters film I had in my DVD library, but then for Christmas, I got some more DVDs, including POLYESTER. Oh, I also have SERIAL MOM. I don't think I have any others. I'll have to check at some point.
12:40 pm
So, this blog of mine - this blog here, A Rambling Wastrel, I - is supposed to be a repository for my writing, like, essays, editorials, etc. (as opposed to film reviews which I have at this blog for film related matters) or even posts about writing. Writing or related miscellany. I guess this post is such miscellany. I'm mostly trying to get through the day here and occasionally jotting down some of my day and some of my thoughts helps me organize my thinking. Blog posts like this are probably the closest I'll get to tweeting regularly. Maybe. Well, just less succinctly. Um... maybe blog posts like this are probably the closest I'll get to... blogging.
Anyway, my mind was wandering and I was thinking about a variety of things related to local filmmaking (aka WNY filmmaking).
One of the things I started thinking about was what sort of topics I wanted to focus on at my film blog and I found I actually started such a topic back in January. The only thing I wrote was this:
1. Netflix Connection
2. WNY filmmakers
3. BM-VM
4. My own filmmaking efforts
5. Films I own
6. Films so bad they're... what?
Here's an ambitious venture with regards to number 2: committing myself to writing profiles about local filmmakers and also their films. Try to establish a document or documentation, like a history, maybe. Also, possibly, it could be a way of making some money if I publish them as books, inspired by the likes of BFI classics, kinda-sorta. Of course, that's assuming anybody else would be even interested in buying such books, hahaha! Well, first things first: first, create the product; then second, promote the product.
Saturday, December 28, 7:37 am
4 DAYS UNTIL 2020!
Oh, man. I'm not getting anything done. Being sick isn't helping. Nuts.
I'm still working my way through MULTIPLE MANIACS.
But we're leaving in less than two hours for Pennsylvania to visit friends and we'll back tomorrow.
I have to get ready for that.
Ugh.
Monday, December 30, 3:28 am
2 DAYS UNTIL 2020!
What the hell! I wrote a few sentences yesterday but of course, my wi-fi was iffy and it didn't save it. Grrr!
Whatever... I should really go to bed now and get a couple hours of sleep before going to work at 7:30.
I fell asleep earlier and had a weird dream that I don't remember and then woke up because Amy called out to me saying she was going to bed. Then I watched the rest of this documentary on Netflix called IRON FISTS AND KUNG FU KICKS which I thought was pretty interesting in terms of its chronology culturally showing the history of kung fu films and how the west picked up on it and how it influenced hip hop culture in the States and parkour in France. Also, I'll have to go back to it and take lots of notes on the various iconic kung fu films and start watching those.
I also finished watching MULTIPLE MANIACS, which was tough because I was tired and I kept falling asleep at the end and having to replay the last section. But I finally got through it. I started re-watching it with John Waters' commentary and I'll want to return to that because what he has to say is interesting. Although, you can hear the genuine sadness in his voice as he talks about how nothing is shocking anymore.
But, I really HAVE to go to bed.
Work will be miserable and I'll probably have some sort of "relapse" if the weather is going to be as bad as they predict it will be: lots of cold rain. Ugh...
Later!
January 1, 2020 1:16 am
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Okay, so no way in hell did I make my 50,000 word challenge, let alone my 30,000 word challenge.
Hell, I don't think I did 10,000 words, although, right now, I'm cheating, so maybe I'll make the latter.
At least there's a "precedent" (for my cheating) -- I'm extending my deadline until midnight tonight EST. I also cheated by "publishing" a handful of unfinished blog posts yesterday just so I could say I posted so many times on my blogs in 2019. I titled them "(works in progress)" intending to amend them, but I'll try to do so today to make it count for my 50,000 word challenge. But, we'll see about that...
Speaking of which, let me try to wrap this meandering post up to start...
2:39 am
Well, mostly I edited it. I didn't really add to much, just tried to clarify what I actually wrote before, the usual.
So, I'm going to bed.
Saturday, December 21, 2:52 pm
I'm just going to start this post.
I have 11 days until January 1, 2020.
There's no way in hell I'm going to make 50,000 words of my blog posting goal.
Right now, I'm at 8,847 words (that's 5 posts). That means 41,153 more words to go.
Or, mathematically-speaking: 3,742 words/day to accomplish 50,000. No way in hell. It would be amazing if I could do 1,000 words/day.
However, another related blogging goal is to write 6 blog posts for each of my three main blogs. As of right now, I have ONE post for my writing blog; FIVE for my art/comics blog; and ZERO for my film blog. Speaking practically, this second goal is far more attainable.
The third goal is to simply beat my output from last year. I didn't do 50,000 words in 2018, but I did a respectable 29,185 words. So, if I could do 30,000 words, that would be quite alright. That would be 21,153 words to go, and 1,923 words a day. Still a sizable challenge, but much more reasonable. that's not not too far off from 1,667 words/day, which is what you'd have to average to pull off a standard 50,000 words in a 30 days.
Okay, enough theory. I have to crap, then do some cleaning.
UGH.
Focus, focus, focus..!
3:18 pm
My wife's working on the Christmas cards. I'm trying to do some cleaning prior to our finally hanging up some Christmas decorations, etc.
Tonight, Beaver Alley Studios is premiering their fourth film, A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY at the Screening Room at 9:45 pm. I actually did the poster/DVD art. Well, more or less. I explain it all here.
Anyway, I'm cleaning the litter boxes downstairs here. And I have this annoying headache. Maybe because I'm trying to cut back on drinking Diet Pepsi? Dammit.
I'd also like to clean off my bed and sleep there tonight instead of on the couch. I don't actually mind sleeping on the couch, but I SHOULD sleep in my own bed. Dammit.
3:54 pm
Man, I'm fucking pathetic. Every time I finish a drawing, it's a Christmas miracle. Every time I clean the litter boxes, it's a Christmas miracle.
Well, on the bright side (and by this broad definition of "a Christmas miracle")... it's been a pretty miraculous week, then.
Sunday, December 22, 2:03 am
It's late, I'm tired, I've spent the last 45-60 minutes or so just surfing the net but not really doing anything.
Around 12:45 am I came home from the A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY premiere. I'm glad I was able to motivate my butt to get out of the house and go over to the Screening Room.
Now I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. Go to bed? Stay up a little while longer? But, if I do stay up, what for? Not to just make love to the internet. I should either write some more here or do something else, maybe watch a movie or something? Hmmm...
Well, at the very least, I'm eating some leftover pizza from the BM-VM Holiday party, by God!
10:10 am
Wow, I really went to bed late last night.
I got around to watching another episode of MINDHUNTER again. I was watching that pretty steadily and then, well, I just got distracted with other stuff.
Anyway, I'm up, I just fed the cats, and now, breakfast for me...
11:32 am
Well, I have to be at work at 3:30 this afternoon.
After finishing the poster for A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY, now I want to get back to the idea I was obsessing about when I should have been working on the poster instead: that goofy, conceptually amorphous sci-fi comic with the female heroine, Stellara Ultranova. Of course, now that I'm done with the poster and have time to work on the sci-fi comic, I'm sure I'll have no interest in actually working on the sci-fi comic, because that's how irritatingly predictable my "motivation" operates.
Actually, from now until Christmas, I need to focus on Christmas. Like, getting whatever last minute gifts I have to get, cleaning up the house, and decorating. So, today, I have to clean.
But once Dec. 26 comes around, I'm going to try and throw together a short comic idea I have for the sci-fi comic. I'm thinking that the comic itself may be a sort of anthology of short stories set in the future that all happen to star Stellara (Ha! That sounds funny!) as the main protagonist, along with her supporting cast/friends. That's the idea I'm going with now. Also, I DO have to finish coloring the CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY poster, too. I can't put that off indefinitely.
Although, and probably even more urgently then my desire to try out this sci-fi idea, the next thing I should be working on is my Apple Corps Comics (ACC) idea. At the beginning of the year, I was hoping to work on my ACC idea throughout 2019, and I figured if I did a page a week, it was going to take me until January 2020 to finish. Of course, I've done no real work on the story except for:
1. Coming up with a very basic concept - a grotesque parody of the Italian giallo;
2. Using the story as an unofficial introduction to my TABLE SCRAPS comic idea (a pseudo-funny animal comic).
So, obviously, my ACC story will move to 2020, now. What else is new? I'll try to write an actual outline for the story in January. Pam (my fellow - and only other - Apple Corps member) and I will have another Apple Corps meeting sometime that month and I'll use that meeting as an incentive to plan out my progress on the comic for the rest of the year.
Alright, time to clean the house, dammit.
1:17 pm
I'm still cleaning the house, dammit!, but I'm stealing a few minutes in my basement lair to write this.
So far, I've:
- Vacuumed the living room, the kitchen and the stairs to the upper hall.
- Shook out the living room rugs.
- Shook out the rugs, mats in both bathrooms and also the kitchen, then stuck them in the washer.
- Folded the laundry that's been in the dryer.
Alright, gotta get back at it...
1:32 pm
Oops, hang on:
- Put the washed mats and rugs from the washer into the dryer.
- Put a load of underwear in the washer.
Strap yourself in for... EXCITEMENT!
Tuesday, December 24 (Christmas Eve, duh!), 8:30 pm
8 DAYS UNTIL 2020!
Okay, so I worked from 12:30 until close today (6:15 pm). And man, I'm shot.
I've been home for about an hour and I still haven't changed into my house clothes.
And I still have to wrap Amy's presents.
I guess I'll just work through the night, at least for a little while until I seem to be actually doing something...
First, I'm gonna change out of my work clothes, by God.
And then eat something.
10:44 pm
OMG, I'm tired.
So:
- I wrapped a couple presents for my sister-in-law.
- I folded the laundry.
Wednesday, December 25, CHRISTMAS DAY (aren't you even paying attention..?), 9:00 am
Holy crap. I'm even more tired.
Well, probably because I stayed up all night - well, I didn't stay awake ALL through the night but it felt like it... I actually fell asleep for an hour or two after wrapping some gifts while watching THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW before waking up around 4:00 or so and then I continued wrapping Amy's gifts and putting some more ornaments on our tree. Oh, yeah, did I neglect to mention..? We put our little artificial tree up yesterday before I went to work. So, we're going to finish decorating it this morning, but I put a bunch of ornaments on it around 6-6:30 am after I finally finished wrapping. I started decorating last night before I started wrapping presents, etc.
Friday, December 27, 2:45 am
5 DAY UNTIL 2020!
Ugh, I should go to bed.
I worked today and man, by the end of the day, I was really watching the clock. I was more than ready to go home. Probably still tired from Christmas when I pretty much stayed up all night wrapping presents and decorating the tree. Plus, I think my body is thinking of getting sick again. This morning before work, I "expelled" this disgusting, thick snot that I usually associate with when I have a cold. I was glad only that I got it out of my system. But, I don't know if I'm going to stave it off or not from being a full-blown cold. We'll see tomorrow.
Luckily, I have tomorrow off, so I'm going to try and sleep in.
Speaking of which, I should really go to bed.
Meanwhile, I STILL have 21,153 words to go if I want to make 30,000 words by New Year's Day, which averages out to 4,231 words/day.
NO WAY IN HELL THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.
Well, we'll see...
Alright, I got snot running down my face.
Time to go beddy-bye.
10:05 am
Ugh.
Well, I'm awake. I woke up around 9:25.
I have a slight headache.
I'm also feeling a little cold. I can't tell if it's because I had the heat off while I slept or I'm slightly chilled from within, a symptom of my being sick (to whatever degree I'm sick).
12:05 pm
I fed the cats and had breakfast. Amy made breakfast burritos. She cooked up some scrambled "eggs" in one skillet and some "meat" crumbles in another pan. We had two large tortillas left and we each made a burrito. While she ate and read in the library, I ate in the TV room and put on The Criterion Collection's MULTIPLE MANIACS, written, directed, filmed and edited by John Waters. I specifically chose this film because I need to write a review for A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY, and elements of the film made me think of Waters' earlier films, so I decided to go all out and check out one of his films to put me in a reviewing mood. This was the only early Waters film I had in my DVD library, but then for Christmas, I got some more DVDs, including POLYESTER. Oh, I also have SERIAL MOM. I don't think I have any others. I'll have to check at some point.
12:40 pm
So, this blog of mine - this blog here, A Rambling Wastrel, I - is supposed to be a repository for my writing, like, essays, editorials, etc. (as opposed to film reviews which I have at this blog for film related matters) or even posts about writing. Writing or related miscellany. I guess this post is such miscellany. I'm mostly trying to get through the day here and occasionally jotting down some of my day and some of my thoughts helps me organize my thinking. Blog posts like this are probably the closest I'll get to tweeting regularly. Maybe. Well, just less succinctly. Um... maybe blog posts like this are probably the closest I'll get to... blogging.
Anyway, my mind was wandering and I was thinking about a variety of things related to local filmmaking (aka WNY filmmaking).
One of the things I started thinking about was what sort of topics I wanted to focus on at my film blog and I found I actually started such a topic back in January. The only thing I wrote was this:
1. Netflix Connection
2. WNY filmmakers
3. BM-VM
4. My own filmmaking efforts
5. Films I own
6. Films so bad they're... what?
Here's an ambitious venture with regards to number 2: committing myself to writing profiles about local filmmakers and also their films. Try to establish a document or documentation, like a history, maybe. Also, possibly, it could be a way of making some money if I publish them as books, inspired by the likes of BFI classics, kinda-sorta. Of course, that's assuming anybody else would be even interested in buying such books, hahaha! Well, first things first: first, create the product; then second, promote the product.
Saturday, December 28, 7:37 am
4 DAYS UNTIL 2020!
Oh, man. I'm not getting anything done. Being sick isn't helping. Nuts.
I'm still working my way through MULTIPLE MANIACS.
But we're leaving in less than two hours for Pennsylvania to visit friends and we'll back tomorrow.
I have to get ready for that.
Ugh.
Monday, December 30, 3:28 am
2 DAYS UNTIL 2020!
What the hell! I wrote a few sentences yesterday but of course, my wi-fi was iffy and it didn't save it. Grrr!
Whatever... I should really go to bed now and get a couple hours of sleep before going to work at 7:30.
I fell asleep earlier and had a weird dream that I don't remember and then woke up because Amy called out to me saying she was going to bed. Then I watched the rest of this documentary on Netflix called IRON FISTS AND KUNG FU KICKS which I thought was pretty interesting in terms of its chronology culturally showing the history of kung fu films and how the west picked up on it and how it influenced hip hop culture in the States and parkour in France. Also, I'll have to go back to it and take lots of notes on the various iconic kung fu films and start watching those.
I also finished watching MULTIPLE MANIACS, which was tough because I was tired and I kept falling asleep at the end and having to replay the last section. But I finally got through it. I started re-watching it with John Waters' commentary and I'll want to return to that because what he has to say is interesting. Although, you can hear the genuine sadness in his voice as he talks about how nothing is shocking anymore.
But, I really HAVE to go to bed.
Work will be miserable and I'll probably have some sort of "relapse" if the weather is going to be as bad as they predict it will be: lots of cold rain. Ugh...
Later!
January 1, 2020 1:16 am
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Okay, so no way in hell did I make my 50,000 word challenge, let alone my 30,000 word challenge.
Hell, I don't think I did 10,000 words, although, right now, I'm cheating, so maybe I'll make the latter.
At least there's a "precedent" (for my cheating) -- I'm extending my deadline until midnight tonight EST. I also cheated by "publishing" a handful of unfinished blog posts yesterday just so I could say I posted so many times on my blogs in 2019. I titled them "(works in progress)" intending to amend them, but I'll try to do so today to make it count for my 50,000 word challenge. But, we'll see about that...
Speaking of which, let me try to wrap this meandering post up to start...
2:39 am
Well, mostly I edited it. I didn't really add to much, just tried to clarify what I actually wrote before, the usual.
So, I'm going to bed.
Tuesday, December 03, 2019
WRITING GOAL CHECKLIST - 2019 (with follow-up update)
February 6, 2019
GOAL 1: READ MORE
GOAL 2: FILM BLOG: Write a review every month.
GOAL 3: ART BLOG: Write a post every month featuring new art.
GOAL 4: RAMBLING WASTREL, ETC.: Write 50,000 words of new blogging posts in 2019.
And/or 1 post/month.
GOAL 5: Write first draft of PUS MASTERS.
GOAL 6: Write first draft of THE RESURRECTION OF THE BLUE AGOUTI.
December 2, 6:53 am
Man, did I really come up with this list of writing goals almost 10 months ago? Fudge.
Let's see, after a quick glance, an UPDATE:
GOAL 1: READ MORE
I started reading MIDNIGHT MOVIE, a book by TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE director Tobe Hooper. I started it some time ago and forgot about it. Yeah, I was reading it at the cottage and we haven't been there, like, actually overnight, in a while... a couple years? Anyway, I was rooting through my backpack earlier this year and there it was, the paperback: "Oh, yeah! This!" I started reading it again from the beginning and was getting into it. There's a number of characters and the format is all first-person accounts of this bizarre take on a zombie-like plague, kinda-sorta, not your traditional zombies, more like when you get infected you go insane and destructive but there's also a physical infection and deterioration going on, too. I'm not exactly clear, to be honest. The best part, though, is that a couple conceits are that Hooper himself is a character and in the beginning, he's invited by a disreputable character to a screening at the SXSW festival of Hooper's first film, something on 16mm that somehow this sketchy dude was able to get his hands on. The description of Hooper's early cinematic effort is fascinating and compelling, and the idea of that film even existing got me hooked. Unfortunately, the persistent first-person accounts is ultimately distancing and I sort of lost interest after getting fairly well into the book. So, I haven't picked it up in a few months. I should just finish it to tie up loose ends, though. In fact, when I re-started reading the book again it was to kill time while waiting while my car was being worked on at Walt's Garage. Now, I have some other repairs that have to be done again - big ones, too: four tires and rear brakes, ugh! - so maybe I'll get back into MIDNIGHT MOVIE within a week (since I need the repairs to pass inspection and my inspection was due, uh, last month...).
December 3, 8:58 am
So, I'm trying to finish up some posts that I started quite awhile ago, mostly to move forward on this 2019 50,000 word/blog-post challenge. Last year I got up to 29,000 words which wasn't too bad. I'm way behind right now. Although, I do have a private blog I started this year to address a more personal issue and I've written more on that than my public blogs, go figure: Private (15,550 words) vs. Public (7,090 words). Ah, well. I just need to keep plugging away.
Anyway, in a lot of these incomplete posts, I write a lot of lists. A LOT. I'm a compulsive and impulsive list writer. Part of me does it so I don't forget shit. A lot of me is a wishful thinker because I never seem to complete these lists (or posts).
So, it's kind of meditative to go through these old partial posts and see these lists and goals and tasks and ideas and I think it's a good idea to do an update to these things. It's a regurgitative process mentally and also from a reading and writing perspective. I'm re-reading a lot of things again and again, and that's interesting. It's like my annual New year's Resolutions. Usually the same resolutions make the list or are slightly modified. Maybe this step of the process - updating - will help me complete these things and then finally move on to the next level. At the very least, I'm getting some words down. It's like me getting steps!
Anyway, to continue...
GOAL 2: FILM BLOG: Write a review every month.
Well, I certainly haven't done that. Hell, I haven't posted ANYTHING on my film blog since LAST December. Shit!
So, having said that, the Netflix Connection thing I had going on with Mermaid Heather and Dawn Deader has pretty much bit the dust. I certainly contributed to its demise because of my, well, lack of contribution. Heather was really the only consistent writer of reviews and I was the worst, even though it was my idea in the first place.
Nuts.
Anyway, in the last couple months, my friends Rhonda and Mark Parker, who happen to be filmmakers who run Beaver Alley Studios, have been trying to do this streaming service for independent filmmakers through their studios. In addition, they want to add some original content to the site and one program includes reviewing films. We've been talking about me being a part of this reviewing endeavor, but we'll see. I initially said "sure," but now I'm having second thoughts because I'm not quite confident about my being on such a show. I mean, basically I feel fraudulent offering my thoughts on films by local filmmakers. But I do think reviewing local films is a great idea. So, I need to do that at least on my own blog.
But I haven't yet.
*sigh*
11:51 am
I'm going to piss this whole day away before I go to work, aren't I?
Grrrrr...
Man, I should have slept better last night.
Anyway...
GOAL 3: ART BLOG: Write a post every month featuring new art.
Okay, I haven't really created much new art, but I have been adding some more posts to my art blog because I've been thinking about how to develop this goofy Stellara Ultranova idea. But I definitely need to create some artwork. Right now it's mostly me yakking.
GOAL 4: RAMBLING WASTREL, ETC.: Write 50,000 words of new blogging posts in 2019.
And/or 1 post/month.
Yeah, I've been doing this and only lately, primarily starting last month, November, which is appropriate since November is when NaNoWriMo happens. Although mostly I've been focusing on my private blog (with a greater degree of success, and more for the reasons as to why I started that blog), which are all private (so they don't add to my public word count, natch!) and my art blog. So, I've been working on this goal moderately, but I'm way behind.
GOAL 5: Write first draft of PUS MASTERS.
GOAL 6: Write first draft of THE RESURRECTION OF THE BLUE AGOUTI.
Uh, no, neither of these have happened nor have I even started working on them. Re: BLUE AGOUTI, I had hoped to actually make a pseudo-teaser/trailer for my BM-VM Shorty Contest entry in the fall, but that didn't happen either. Somewhat related, over at Buffalo Movie-Video Makers (BM-VM), a local film society of cinemaphiles and amateur and more experienced filmmakers, the main group started a "splinter" group focused on screenwriting. The decision to start the BM-VM screenwriting group started with a discussion between myself, Leo Medico and Sabrina Pena Young and then we went ahead and started it. The original intent was to run it monthly like the regular BM-VM meetings, but in the couple years we've been doing it, we pulled that back a little bit to maybe every other month. Anyway, Leo and Sabrina have been unable to attend the screenwriting meetings due to a busy schedule, but local playwright/screenwriter Donnamarie Vaughan has joined along and has taken a pretty active interest in it and she's like co-heading it with me. Anyway, I bring up the group because it would seem to be a perfect vehicle for me to use to start working on either script and bringing in scene and getting feedback from the group. Except... I don't want to. I'd rather keep PUS MASTERS under tight wraps, keep it between just Carter Soles and myself. Carter initiated the project with a sort-of treatment/synopsis of a script and showing it to me and after reading it, I had some other ideas that sort of took it into a whole other different direction, which he liked, and we decided to collaborate on the script. This was way back in...2012. Holy crud. And I just looked that up, I didn't remember off-hand the year Carter sent me the script. Shit. Also, BLUE AGOUTI has some weird personal stuff (or have been inspiring some ideas to be included) I've been considering to put in the screenplay, so I think I'd feel self-conscious sharing it with the group. Anyway, I DO need to work on these screenplays, but right now, I have to get through some other projects first. Like, I have to do a poster/DVD cover design for Beaver Alley Studios' film, A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY and I do want to do a little something on this Stellara Ultranova comic book concept I've arbitrarily been obsessing about lately (okay, the latter is me being a "victim" of accidental inspiration - I saw a picture of a model on the internet named Emily and I thought she would be a good physical basis for a sci-fi heroine that I've been thinking off and on about doing, an answer to Barbarella, kinda-sorta. Anyway, I want to do some drawing to kind of take advantage of all the thinking and ideas I've been having recently regarding this concept. Maybe 2020 will be the year for either or both of these goals. Although, having said that and having brought up the BM-VM Screenwriting group, I should work on some screenplay with group, so i might just start another project. I've been watching a lot of dreck on streaming TV (Amazon Prime Video, Netflix, Shudder) , films I find fascinating even though I may not sit through them all the way through, or even like a little but it makes me think about filmmaking. Like, TERROR BENEATH THE SEA, ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK, or even, HONKY HOLOCAUST. Yeah. So, I might start something as almost purely an exercise, something in the vein of Emir Skalonja's filmography. Emir is a local filmmaker who's made a bunch of extremely low-budgeted horror film features in the last few years and part of me is thinking, hell, if he can do it, why not me? At least one feature. So, that's where my thoughts are on that.
Yeah.
*ANOTHER sigh*
Okay.
I'm finally done with this one.
GOAL 1: READ MORE
GOAL 2: FILM BLOG: Write a review every month.
GOAL 3: ART BLOG: Write a post every month featuring new art.
GOAL 4: RAMBLING WASTREL, ETC.: Write 50,000 words of new blogging posts in 2019.
And/or 1 post/month.
GOAL 5: Write first draft of PUS MASTERS.
GOAL 6: Write first draft of THE RESURRECTION OF THE BLUE AGOUTI.
December 2, 6:53 am
Man, did I really come up with this list of writing goals almost 10 months ago? Fudge.
Let's see, after a quick glance, an UPDATE:
GOAL 1: READ MORE
I started reading MIDNIGHT MOVIE, a book by TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE director Tobe Hooper. I started it some time ago and forgot about it. Yeah, I was reading it at the cottage and we haven't been there, like, actually overnight, in a while... a couple years? Anyway, I was rooting through my backpack earlier this year and there it was, the paperback: "Oh, yeah! This!" I started reading it again from the beginning and was getting into it. There's a number of characters and the format is all first-person accounts of this bizarre take on a zombie-like plague, kinda-sorta, not your traditional zombies, more like when you get infected you go insane and destructive but there's also a physical infection and deterioration going on, too. I'm not exactly clear, to be honest. The best part, though, is that a couple conceits are that Hooper himself is a character and in the beginning, he's invited by a disreputable character to a screening at the SXSW festival of Hooper's first film, something on 16mm that somehow this sketchy dude was able to get his hands on. The description of Hooper's early cinematic effort is fascinating and compelling, and the idea of that film even existing got me hooked. Unfortunately, the persistent first-person accounts is ultimately distancing and I sort of lost interest after getting fairly well into the book. So, I haven't picked it up in a few months. I should just finish it to tie up loose ends, though. In fact, when I re-started reading the book again it was to kill time while waiting while my car was being worked on at Walt's Garage. Now, I have some other repairs that have to be done again - big ones, too: four tires and rear brakes, ugh! - so maybe I'll get back into MIDNIGHT MOVIE within a week (since I need the repairs to pass inspection and my inspection was due, uh, last month...).
December 3, 8:58 am
So, I'm trying to finish up some posts that I started quite awhile ago, mostly to move forward on this 2019 50,000 word/blog-post challenge. Last year I got up to 29,000 words which wasn't too bad. I'm way behind right now. Although, I do have a private blog I started this year to address a more personal issue and I've written more on that than my public blogs, go figure: Private (15,550 words) vs. Public (7,090 words). Ah, well. I just need to keep plugging away.
Anyway, in a lot of these incomplete posts, I write a lot of lists. A LOT. I'm a compulsive and impulsive list writer. Part of me does it so I don't forget shit. A lot of me is a wishful thinker because I never seem to complete these lists (or posts).
So, it's kind of meditative to go through these old partial posts and see these lists and goals and tasks and ideas and I think it's a good idea to do an update to these things. It's a regurgitative process mentally and also from a reading and writing perspective. I'm re-reading a lot of things again and again, and that's interesting. It's like my annual New year's Resolutions. Usually the same resolutions make the list or are slightly modified. Maybe this step of the process - updating - will help me complete these things and then finally move on to the next level. At the very least, I'm getting some words down. It's like me getting steps!
Anyway, to continue...
GOAL 2: FILM BLOG: Write a review every month.
Well, I certainly haven't done that. Hell, I haven't posted ANYTHING on my film blog since LAST December. Shit!
So, having said that, the Netflix Connection thing I had going on with Mermaid Heather and Dawn Deader has pretty much bit the dust. I certainly contributed to its demise because of my, well, lack of contribution. Heather was really the only consistent writer of reviews and I was the worst, even though it was my idea in the first place.
Nuts.
Anyway, in the last couple months, my friends Rhonda and Mark Parker, who happen to be filmmakers who run Beaver Alley Studios, have been trying to do this streaming service for independent filmmakers through their studios. In addition, they want to add some original content to the site and one program includes reviewing films. We've been talking about me being a part of this reviewing endeavor, but we'll see. I initially said "sure," but now I'm having second thoughts because I'm not quite confident about my being on such a show. I mean, basically I feel fraudulent offering my thoughts on films by local filmmakers. But I do think reviewing local films is a great idea. So, I need to do that at least on my own blog.
But I haven't yet.
*sigh*
11:51 am
I'm going to piss this whole day away before I go to work, aren't I?
Grrrrr...
Man, I should have slept better last night.
Anyway...
GOAL 3: ART BLOG: Write a post every month featuring new art.
Okay, I haven't really created much new art, but I have been adding some more posts to my art blog because I've been thinking about how to develop this goofy Stellara Ultranova idea. But I definitely need to create some artwork. Right now it's mostly me yakking.
GOAL 4: RAMBLING WASTREL, ETC.: Write 50,000 words of new blogging posts in 2019.
And/or 1 post/month.
Yeah, I've been doing this and only lately, primarily starting last month, November, which is appropriate since November is when NaNoWriMo happens. Although mostly I've been focusing on my private blog (with a greater degree of success, and more for the reasons as to why I started that blog), which are all private (so they don't add to my public word count, natch!) and my art blog. So, I've been working on this goal moderately, but I'm way behind.
GOAL 5: Write first draft of PUS MASTERS.
GOAL 6: Write first draft of THE RESURRECTION OF THE BLUE AGOUTI.
Uh, no, neither of these have happened nor have I even started working on them. Re: BLUE AGOUTI, I had hoped to actually make a pseudo-teaser/trailer for my BM-VM Shorty Contest entry in the fall, but that didn't happen either. Somewhat related, over at Buffalo Movie-Video Makers (BM-VM), a local film society of cinemaphiles and amateur and more experienced filmmakers, the main group started a "splinter" group focused on screenwriting. The decision to start the BM-VM screenwriting group started with a discussion between myself, Leo Medico and Sabrina Pena Young and then we went ahead and started it. The original intent was to run it monthly like the regular BM-VM meetings, but in the couple years we've been doing it, we pulled that back a little bit to maybe every other month. Anyway, Leo and Sabrina have been unable to attend the screenwriting meetings due to a busy schedule, but local playwright/screenwriter Donnamarie Vaughan has joined along and has taken a pretty active interest in it and she's like co-heading it with me. Anyway, I bring up the group because it would seem to be a perfect vehicle for me to use to start working on either script and bringing in scene and getting feedback from the group. Except... I don't want to. I'd rather keep PUS MASTERS under tight wraps, keep it between just Carter Soles and myself. Carter initiated the project with a sort-of treatment/synopsis of a script and showing it to me and after reading it, I had some other ideas that sort of took it into a whole other different direction, which he liked, and we decided to collaborate on the script. This was way back in...2012. Holy crud. And I just looked that up, I didn't remember off-hand the year Carter sent me the script. Shit. Also, BLUE AGOUTI has some weird personal stuff (or have been inspiring some ideas to be included) I've been considering to put in the screenplay, so I think I'd feel self-conscious sharing it with the group. Anyway, I DO need to work on these screenplays, but right now, I have to get through some other projects first. Like, I have to do a poster/DVD cover design for Beaver Alley Studios' film, A CHRISTMAS MONSTROSITY and I do want to do a little something on this Stellara Ultranova comic book concept I've arbitrarily been obsessing about lately (okay, the latter is me being a "victim" of accidental inspiration - I saw a picture of a model on the internet named Emily and I thought she would be a good physical basis for a sci-fi heroine that I've been thinking off and on about doing, an answer to Barbarella, kinda-sorta. Anyway, I want to do some drawing to kind of take advantage of all the thinking and ideas I've been having recently regarding this concept. Maybe 2020 will be the year for either or both of these goals. Although, having said that and having brought up the BM-VM Screenwriting group, I should work on some screenplay with group, so i might just start another project. I've been watching a lot of dreck on streaming TV (Amazon Prime Video, Netflix, Shudder) , films I find fascinating even though I may not sit through them all the way through, or even like a little but it makes me think about filmmaking. Like, TERROR BENEATH THE SEA, ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK, or even, HONKY HOLOCAUST. Yeah. So, I might start something as almost purely an exercise, something in the vein of Emir Skalonja's filmography. Emir is a local filmmaker who's made a bunch of extremely low-budgeted horror film features in the last few years and part of me is thinking, hell, if he can do it, why not me? At least one feature. So, that's where my thoughts are on that.
Yeah.
*ANOTHER sigh*
Okay.
I'm finally done with this one.
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