Sunday, September 13, 2020

COUNTDOWN TO 60!

Wednesday, January 15, 11:15 am

27 DAYS UNTIL I'M 60!


Uh, yay.
Okay, let's just cut to the chase.
I've been simultaneously thinking about (and obsessively so) about doing this comic strip/comic book idea called DREGS, a sci-fi fantasy concept featuring a trio of friends, especially a heroine named Stellara Ultranova AND really not doing anything constructive at all, at least not in any meaningful way, just dragging my ass around to work and then back home and being glued to the internet pointlessly. So: I'm obsessed with accomplishing one thing and yet, mind-blowingly, doing NOTHING to accomplish this goal. And... that's where I seem to be in life right now.
But, Time waits for no man, and in less than four weeks, I'll be sixty fucking years old.
Dude, what the hell.

I need to get serious.
If I want to start accomplishing the various creative goals I have, if I want to start accomplishing the various household goals I have, I need to GET OFF MY ASS AND START WORKING ON IT!
Okay.
I have to go to work today at 2:30 pm. So, I have a couple of hours to get some shit done at home before I leave. I'll be back.

12:15 pm

- Fed the birds.
- Cleared the sink, washed the dishes.
- Put two of the comforters in the washer.

1:51 pm


- Put the Christmas stuff back up in the attic.

- Re-set the two mouse traps in the attic.
- Dried the comforters and put them back on the couch.

...And, time to go to work.



Friday, January 17, 10:34 am

25 DAYS UNTIL I'M 60!

2:15 pm

Man, I wanted to do a bunch of stuff today- hell, I NEEDED to do a bunch of stuff today! - but I'm getting off-track. Okay, I just stuck a bunch of clothes in the washer and I called Excelsior Orthopedics about a prescription that I thought was going to be waiting for me, but my pharmacy had no record of it. So, I'm waiting on a call back for that. But, there's litter boxes and etc. that I have to do that I'm desperately putting off. So, I'm going to INCENTIVIZE!
If I do the litter boxes and etc., I'm eating that damn donut I bought last night. SMALL CONFESSION: I bought TWO donuts last night after work and ate one on the way home. I don't care! It was fucking cold working outside yesterday and I came in two and a half hours earlier than scheduled to help out and I WANTED A DONUT AS A REWARD!
So... nyahh!

4:19 pm

Half-way there, dammit.
I cleaned up the cat shit, but still have to do the litter boxes.
Did some incidental moving and cleaning while sweeping up all the crap in the various spots and nooks on the floor the cat found to crap on.
C'mon, Kimmel! You're almost there!
(Man, what a lame-o for these ridiculous "self-pep-talks"..!) 
(But, on the other hand, if these goofy, mundane self-pep-talks somehow get me motivated, even a little, even partially (to be accurate), well, who am I to say anything..?)
(but seriously, what a lame-o!)

Tuesday, January 21, 3:11 pm

21 DAYS UNTIL I'M 60!

I have the day off and I'm just not accomplishing as much as I'd like. Trying to get my focus back here. Okay, okay, okay.
First, let's tackle the kitchen sink upstairs. At least I've been doing some of the laundry (thank god for machines who actually do the work...).

Sunday, February 2, SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, 11:21 am

9 DAYS UNTIL I'M 60!

Alright, I'm not really a big football fan, but I do know today is Super Bowl Sunday.
Meanwhile, this week has been eventful: I found out I have a hernia so I'll be having an operation to correct that later in the spring AND my car had to go in the shop because the brake line went. Yes!

Thursday, February 6, 8:24 am

5 DAYS UNTIL I'M 60!

OMG, I'm tired!
I have to work today from 3:00 until closing.
I got up early though to clear off Amy's car from snow. It snowed last night, and we knew it was coming, but it didn't come when we thought it was gonna, so when we went to bed, the ground was snow-free and nothing in the air.
This morning, there was snow on the cars and ground, and the plow came at some point and cleared the best he could of our driveway, even though I didn't park behind my wife's car like I usually do.
Well, I cleared the car, I fed the cats, I fed the birds and now I'm pooped.
The hell. My life is too damn exciting.

Alright, I'm gonna eat breakfast. Try and stop me...if you dare!

Friday, February 7, 3:36 pm

4 DAYS UNTIL I'M 60!

Oh, man, what a lazy day.
I have today and tomorrow off. And it turned out to be a snow day for my wife!
Anyway, I stayed up late last night. I closed yesterday at work and when I got home after 11:00 pm, I finished watching THE LAST JEDI on Disney+, and then I impulsively watched GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY in its entirety, too. So, I went to bed LATE, like after 4:00.
So, I was a little tired when I woke up at 9:30 this morning. And I haven't really done too much of anything. About the only constructive thing I did was take care of some financial crap. I put some money in the savings and also gave some money to my wife to pay for my video camera I bought over the summer. Now that I'm back to working more like 35 hrs a week (after having my hours reduced over the holidays because more college students were home, so they were looking for hours, if that makes sense), I'm trying to focus on building up our savings, especially since the last two weeks has been: a plumbing bill, having a new sump pump installed, and fixing my brake lines.
But, now... I'm going to try and see if I can clean out our utility room and put in some new shelving units. We bought two new sets from Sam's Club and the new shelves are twice as wide as the old ones, so that should help our storage and organizing issues in the utility room considerably.
Okay, I'm off. We'll see how well this works out.

4:27 pm

Let's just try to work through this.
First, I have to clean the litter boxes downstairs. I've been putting this off for days. Ugh.
And then I have to drag those two boxes with the shelf units out of the car. They're a little heavy and we've left them in the car for a few days. UGH.

So, to re-iterate: GOALS for today:

1. Clean downstairs litter boxes. YES
2. Clean utility room to make room for shelving units.
3. Install at least ONE shelving unit.
4. Take BOTH shelving unit boxes out of my wife's car. YES
5. Clear off my bed so I can sleep on it tonight (I've been sleeping on the couch in the TV room for a couple months now, at least).
6. Fold underwear.
7. Wash darks.
8. Clear the sink. YES

I'll be back.

Saturday, February 8, 10:41 am

So, I have this new comic book obsession... even though I haven't done ANY significant work on:

1. My ACC story.
2. My DREGS idea.
3. Updating my portfolio.

Anyway, the new obsession is ULKRYN, PREHISTORIC CYBORG!

But, back to my list of crap to do from yesterday...

2. Clean utility room to make room for shelving units. YES
3. Install at least ONE shelving unit. YES
5. Clear off my bed so I can sleep on it tonight (I've been sleeping on the couch in the TV room for a couple months now, at least).
6. Fold underwear.
7. Wash darks.
8. DRAW.
9. Watch WILL O' THE WISP VERSION 4.

Sunday, February 9, 10:13 am

Well, That's a long list and I only did a couple things off it. Although, I actually set up BOTH shelving units and at this point right now, I'm in the process of re-putting stuff on them from the original, skinnier, wooden shelves that my dad had originally erected on the utility room wall, and also re-organizing the items that were stacked impulsively on the two smaller shelving units we happened to have that were stuck back in this cubby area of the utility room.
I put the second new unit in the cubby hole and I set up a work light as a semi-permanent light fixture for that area (because it is dark in there, let me tell you!, even when the general overhead light is on).
So, this morning I'm trying to wrap this re-organizing venture up before I have to go to work...
And speaking of work, it's snowing again! Oh, boy!

Also, I'm going to try and cross off a few more items on that list, if possible, before I leave today.
We'll see.

5. Clear off my bed so I can sleep on it tonight (I've been sleeping on the couch in the TV room for a couple months now, at least).
6. Fold underwear.
7. Wash darks.
8. DRAW.
9. Watch WILL O' THE WISP VERSION 4.

Friday, March 20, 3:33 pm

Holy FORTY DAYS later!
Much has happened since then. Well, not in terms of the above list...
Okay, at some point I did do laundry (items 6 and 7, natch!), and I watched WILL O' THE WASP.
But, I never reviewed it, like I said I was going to.

Sunday, September 13, 10:22 am

And much HAS happened but I never got around to saying anything about it.
So, I'll try to catch up a bit and then, make a point of wrapping this up and publishing it so that I can, theoretically, move on.
But first, breakfast! And blueberry waffles!
(Oh, I know how this goes... the next time I write it'll be after the election..!)

12:06 pm

Or not.
Yes, I'm back. For a little while. I'll probably be ping-ponging back and forth between here and various chores and activities.
Anyway, some catching up on major events...

The biggest thing I was alluding to was, well, of course, the Covid-19 pandemic. My wife stopped going to school the week of St Patrick's Day and she started teaching on-line from home around the same time. Shortly thereafter, I also had my hours at work reduced, by request (prompted by my wife, who said I was in the age range of people susceptible to Covid (young people and older people, natch!) so maybe I should take it a little easier work-wise). So, from working 35-40 hours a week, I went down to 24 hours a week. Specifically, I worked Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, starting in late March, I think (definitely by April) and I pretty much stayed on that schedule until mid-August. It was a nice surprise, too. Initially I changed my availability from five days to four days, but they (Amber, actually, who was writing the schedules at the time) was a real sweetheart (with front end manager Courtney's consent) decided to throw in a regular 3-day weekend, and boy, let me tell you, I got used to that schedule real fast! But, now we're back into "school season" and a number of the "Helping Hands" crew (NOTE: I mainly pull shopping carts at a major grocery store chain) is going back to school, so they asked if I wouldn't mind working some more hours to cover the lack of manpower, and I said, sure. So, I've been wotking 40 hours/week now. It kind of gradually worked that way up by circumstance, first 29 hours, then 32, and then the last couple weeks I've been at 40, and man, I'm definitely an old dude. After work I'm pretty much useless for a while when I get home. But, I also like the extra money again. And let me be clear, I'm really NOT complaining, because some other departments are actually cutting back on hours for some employees. I spoke to a guy in the produce department and he normally did 30 hours a week and now he's at 15. He said some people are at five hours! Holy crap. So, I'm just figuring the store is trying to deal with the way Covid has affected shopping and keeping things in stock and all the other factors that's affected business. So, due to my very specific circumstances, I'm very, VERY fortunate.

12:53 pm

I told you I'd be ping-ponging.
Actually I had to go to the bathroom, and then I went upstairs and I decided to wash the frying pans that were in the sink. So, I did that, and emptied the recycling and then discovered two pizza pans and a baking sheet that needed to be washed, of course. 
Anyway...
More ping-ponging...

2:00 pm

Hurrah.
I washed those pans, etc. and then did some much needed vacuuming of some stairways and the kitchen (ATTACK OF THE CAT-HAIR DUST-BUNNIES!) and then Swifter-mopped the kitchen. Alright!
I have some other chores I want to do still (like... I still never fully cleaned my bed, but I did finally clear a bunch of the crap off it (books, notebooks, art supplies, etc.), like recently (like, VERY recently)(like, last week, man, okay??? Cripes!), but now it has to be vacuumed because my cats have been partying on it over the several, several months, grrrr!), but at least that's off my back.
Oh! And while re-reading this and also doing some editing and adding on, it occurred to me that despite this blog-post's title, I didn't even acknowledge my turning 60 back in February. 
Well... I did! 
And I am! Still, even!

So, as I mentioned, I think on my other two blogs, or at least one of them, or maybe I mentioned it but didn't actually publish those posts yet... anyway... yeah, so I'm 60. And I'm going to refer to myself as a SEXAGENARIAN, because I not only am one, but man, it sounds way more cooler than "I'm a sixty-year-old."

But, holy crap. I AM sixty years old.
And, though I've done some things worth noting (I think) that I've accomplished so far in my six decades meandering along and about on this planet, there are so many creative plans and ambitions that I've thought about and even obsessed about at times yet, I never followed through on. So... what the heck???
Yeah, so in my mind, I'm declaring my sixties, my "sexagenarian years," as an attempt to reclaim some of my creative youth from my 20s. 
Meaning what?
Well, simply, I'm hoping to create more, actually follow through on some ideas. That's it.

Now, having said that... holy crap. So far this year I've got dick to show for all that "declaration."
I had more spare time... and I didn't create more artwork. 
I had more consecutive days off... and I didn't write the first draft to a screenplay. 
I've felt more mortal than ever not because of age but because some friends I knew passed away over the past few months, people I thought I'd see face-to-face again, let alone communicate in some way, via phone or e-mail, whatever. And even those terribly sad reminders of how freaking and abruptly finite our life is hasn't been an adequate motivator yet to kick my ass into producing ANYTHING.
So, I'm kind of feeling miserable, pathetic and desperate today.

I HAVE to move forward on something.
Like, maybe I'll publish this blog post finally.
Okay, let's go with that.

And then, ooh! THEN, I'll annoy you with my preoccupations about writing a book(!) (of all things!) mostly due to my creative envy.
Yay!

To be continued...

PS. For anyone actually paying attention... I was supposed to have that hernia operation at the end of June, but I decided to postpone it, figuring what with the pandemic going on maybe going into a hospital right now isn't the best timing. So, theoretically, depending on how the pandemic landscape develops and transpires, I'm thinking I'll try to have this operation in 2021. We'll see...







Saturday, January 04, 2020

WELCOME, 2020! (aka "Part 2")

January 1, 2020 3:35 pm

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So, this post is pretty much a continuation from this previous post.
In that post, I was referring to this list, or my WHAT I WANNA DO LIST for short, or even shorter, my WIWDL:

WHAT DO I WANNA DO (WHAT DO I WANNA BE) WHEN I GROW UP:

1. A debater
2. An essayist
3. A history major
4. A filmmaker (director, writer, editor)
5. A cartoonist (comic books, webcomics)
6. An illustrator/painter
7. A merchandiser and marketer (specifically re: WNY filmmaker Sam Qualiana's Metroshia Productions... more on this later)
8. A documentarian, historian about WNY filmmakers
9. Financially successful
10. Oh, and though I never think about it - but I should - be a (competent)* homeowner.

Saturday, January 4, 11:24 am

In that previous post, I talked about two items on the list, being a filmmaker and being a cartoonist. Of course, that was back in late February of 2019! So, I'll just run through the whole list for this post and see where my brain is at and hopefully see how much progress I can make on all of these ambitions as I go through the year. 
Yeah, if you look at the recent posts on all three of my main blogs, there's a lot of repetition. It seems most of my recent posts either began as something I started months or even years ago and I decided to finish them, and they probably changed in focus because of the amount of time it took between its inception and its conclusion. Also, a lot of these posts seem to be me trying to just get through the day or even the post, so there's more of diary-like quality to them rather than me discussing a single topic. I think I have few more posts like that to get through in that manner, but if I can make an analogy to a sports team, my blogs (and myself, I guess) are kind of going through a "rebuilding year," just trying to re-organize my focus and getting my shit together in general. With that in mind, I'm perpetually making lists of things to do or goals I hope to accomplish. The WIWDL is one such thing. Also, at my film blog, I'm slowly working on a post that discusses my attempt to re-focus on what topics I'd like to discuss there:

1. Netflix Connection
2. WNY filmmakers
3. BM-VM
4. My own filmmaking efforts
5. Films I own
6. Films so bad they're... what?

So, that's my game plan as we start 2020. We'll see how far I stick with this idea, hahaha! Dammit.
Although, right now, I have to call Consumer Cellular and figure out why my phone hasn't had any service pretty much all week...

Saturday, January 11, 12:51 am

Swell.
For whatever reason, my confidence is kind of low right now and that sort of "just happened." Stupidly, I think it was initially triggered by reading something someone posted on Facebook, that THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING was released on this day SIXTEEN FUCKING YEARS AGO. That fact just sort of hit me, yet another blast of how Time (and Life) can just go by so quickly. And then to compound it, it occurred to me that I didn't really get that much accomplished today, that I was just spinning my wheels, so that fact seemed to underline the whole idea of the passage of time, and more to the point, how I'm such a pro at wasting my own time.
So, on one level I just feel like throwing in the towel with regards to my creative ambitions and plans and bullshit etc. I don't feel like I'm ever going to ever really get my shit together.
FUCK.

However, on the other hand, if I DO give up, well, I might as well just lie down and DIE. Not commit suicide, but just give up my reason for living, then. Because, why bother carrying on if I have no more creative ambitions?
Man, I'm in a pathetically whiney state, aren't I?
Fuck me.
And foul-mouthed, too!

Okay, just take a deep breath and either do something constructive, anything, or just go to bed and start again in the morning and do better tomorrow, ya whiney little puke.
Grrrr!